Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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