I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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