There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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