So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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