Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
