what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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