I think I am morally bankrupt
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
