I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just had sex on a roof
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
