he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
