So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
