an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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