You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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