with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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