dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
