I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
