I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
