I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
