I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize