Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we're chasing vodka with high fives
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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