That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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