Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
