Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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