Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
