You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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