so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
