you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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