Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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