hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
