does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
