i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
