I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
