is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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