So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
