I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
