Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
