I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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