so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize