1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
