I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
