Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
