Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
