She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
