new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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