I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
