How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize