I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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