i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
