those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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