She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
