I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
