im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize