Sry I called you an 8
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
