Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
