Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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