Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
