What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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