i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
