yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
