I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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