dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
