plz talk dirty to me
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
