Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
