She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
