roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize