she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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