Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dicks are not precious.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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