i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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