He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
