Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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