I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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