She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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