What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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