If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
