You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize