I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize