is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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