i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
